Daniel Jackson's Day Off
by drgemini24
Summary: Set in Season 8, Daniel needs a day off, and he ropes Sam and Teal'c in. Loosely based on Ferris Bueller's Day Off.


Daniel's alarm clock buzzed, interrupting a rather odd dream involving a game of Poker with Baal and Thor. His eyes gradually opened and he squinted at the red LED display, which glared '05:00' at him. He groaned, wanting to get back to sleep, but found that he was unable. He groaned again, and sat up, wondering whether he should really be going into work today.

Freshly showered, shaved and coffeed, Daniel sat watching the morning news. He thought to himself, "I really need a day off -- I haven't had any leave since Vis Uban. I don't think fishing at Jack's really counts as leave, and in his crabby state, he won't grant me any 'cos he has to fill out more paperwork..."

Suddenly he had a light bulb moment, and he continued excitedly, "But what if I call in sick today? Just one day won't hurt, and besides, if they need an Archaeologist, they can always rope in Balinsky, or even Bill! I suppose I could fake a cold, but what if Jack sends Dr. Brightman around?"

"No, I can pull this off... I just need to get my story straight... But what if I get caught? Well, I've died twice already, so what's the worst they're going to do? "

A few minutes later, he dared himself to call Jack's office, faking a stuffy nose:

"O'Neill."

"Hi Jack."

"Daniel? Are you alright? You don't sound so good - did Oma miss anything out when she descended you?"

"No, I'm sure it's just a little cold Jack... I'm fine."

"Daniel, you'd work yourself to death and never complain! Right, that's it - don't come in!"

"But Jack..."

"No, I don't care if you're a civilian -- you're going to listen to me. Take today off..."

"But..."

"No, don't you dare argue with me, unless you want me to tell you about those damn Yukons! Take today off! Put your feet up, drink some Lemsip and don't touch any of those Archaeological journals!"

"Jack..."

"Do I need to send Teal'c over?!"

"No Jack."

"See, you didn't put up much of a fight which means that you must be really ill. You want I should send Brightman round?"

"No... I'll be ok... it's just a cold!"

"Right... so, what were you calling about?"

"Um, I might be a late with that report from 938."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Daniel! You are in no state to work! You can submit that anytime you want... anytime. After everything you've been through, you deserve a lot of leeway. Come on, you died twice..."

"But what about the mission today?"

"Hey, if we need a man to collect rocks and gaze hungrily at ruins, we'll make do with Balinsky! He ain't perfect, but it's only temporary."

"Thanks Jack."

"You take care of yourself and don't overwork yourself now, will you?! Anyway, I gotta go... Walter's handed me a big honkin' pile of paper and the red phone's ringing."

"Ok, bye Jack."

"Bye, Daniel."

Daniel disconnected the line, and immediately felt guilty for taking advantage of O'Neill's maternal instinct. He reasoned to himself, "It's only one day... what could possibly happen?"

He began to think of Ferris Bueller, and he called up Carter and Teal'c to see if they would join him on his day off, as they had both been through an inordinate amount of stress and pain in the past couple of months.

Carter took some persuading as she was as much of a workaholic as he was, so they hatched a plan to get her off base with minimum suspicion.

He used a dialling program that she had emailed him, and rang O'Neill, via the Air Force switchboard, appearing to all intents and purposes to be calling from the Air Force academy. Doing his best impression of General Peterson, he asked O'Neill if Carter could come to the University of Colorado Springs for a meeting regarding a teaching post. O'Neill rather reluctantly agreed, much to Daniel's glee.

Teal'c was relatively easy to persuade as he was a big Ferris Bueller fan. He was already on down time due to stress.

Daniel, Carter and Teal'c agreed to meet at Daniel's apartment, where they brainstormed their options. It was decided that it would be too risky to be seen in Colorado due to a possible sighting by the NID.

Eventually, Carter came up with a seemingly far-fetched idea - they could encapsulate the entire base, bar the dialling computer and gateroom, in a time dilation field, and use the gate to planet-hop.

Agreed, they made their way to the base, where Carter began to implement the plan. She set the time dilation field so that a second to the SGC personnel would be twelve hours in reality. She also disabled the CCTV system and the telephone lines.

Suddenly Daniel thought of something. He said, worried, "Hang on, what if someone visited the base, like the President or someone? Plus, what if the Goa'uld decide to drop by again?"

She replied, "Relax Daniel, no-one's scheduled to visit today, and if the guards came in, they'd be affected by the field."

Teal'c asked, "But what if someone dialled the Stargate? The iris would be inactive."

Daniel suggested, "How about we only tell Walter, so he can operate the iris, and we could use our IDC? If anyone else dials in, he could send a message saying we've been having problems with our gate."

Carter replied, surprised, "That would work, 'cos we could delete the IDC log so that no-one will ever know!"

They extracted Walter from the field and briefed him. Walter, who had a Felger-esque diorama of the SGC at home, was more than happy to help.

Walter inputted the co-ordinates, the chevrons locked, and the trio stepped through to Edora.

On Edora, they were reunited with Laira, and were surprised to see Laira's five year old son, Jack, as well as Garren and Naitha's daughters, Lucida and Maia. Carter stammered in surprise, much to Laira's amusement, "Y-You, you and General O'Neill did it?!"

Laira smiled at them, saying, "If by 'did it', you mean that Jack left me with child, you are right. How is he?"

Teal'c replied, "He is indisposed."

Daniel chuckled and added, "Jack's fine -- he's really busy on Earth. He got promoted to, um, Commander this year."

Carter smiled at this as Laira said with a smile, "That is good news. I understand that he is unable to visit, if that is what you are concerned about."

She gestured towards her house and asked, "Would you like to share midday meal with us?"

After dinner with Laira, Haynan, Garren, Naitha, Jack, Lucida and Maia, the team were invited to a party at Klausen's house.

Klausen's daughter, Naira, and a young man called, Adlan, were 'guided' to each other, supposedly by the ancestors, in very much the same way that Garren and Naitha had been, when O'Neill had been stuck on the planet. The team sampled the drink that O'Neill had referred to as 'rot gut', and all, apart from Teal'c, coughed violently. Teal'c seemed to enjoy it greatly.

Following a game of football, played with a ball made from cloth, the team decided to move on, much to the Edorans' disappointment. They exchanged very fond farewells before Daniel, Carter and Teal'c left through the gate.

They arrived on Hebridan, where they had a picnic with Warrick, Heather (Warrick's new wife), and Eamon at Garat heights, overlooking the city. They chatted amicably, and Carter managed to thank Warrick and Eamon for the ion engine, and the fun that she had during the Loop of Kon Garat in the previous year.

The group later went down to the city, to watch a parade held in honour of Hebridan's patron saint, St Ardalla.

Daniel joked to Carter, "Nothing can beat 'Twist and Shout'!"

She laughed as Teal'c replied, "Indeed... 'Twist and Shout' is infinitely superior to the music here."

Carter quipped, much to her team-mates' amusement, "What about Danke Schoen?!"

As she watched various members of the public spontaneously bursting into song, she had an idea. With a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, she said to Teal'c, "I dare you to leap up on that float and sing either of those songs."

Without so much as batting an eyelid, he did just that, singing 'Twist and Shout', making his team-mates' burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Daniel, between gasps, said, "Oh my Gd, that's better than that time I convinced him that it was Tau'ri custom to moon Commanding Officers!"

Carter's laughter grew in intensity and she held her sides, remembering all too well the shock on General Hammond's face.

Later, after Teal'c got his own back by daring his Tau'ri team-mates to join in with the raucous dancing, the team decided to call it a day. After sharing a fond farewell with their friends, they dialled home, transmitting their IDC.

They arrived at the SGC to find General Hammond, and O'Neill waiting for them, with a room full of airmen. The team were surprised to say the least, with Carter wondering if she would be brought up on charges. Daniel looked around the room cautiously and said, "Hello."

Hammond said, "Welcome back, SG-1; you returned sooner than expected. Debriefing in one hour."

Carter looked at him, surprised, and asked, "Sir?"

O'Neill, looking perplexed, quipped, "For cryin' out loud, the Tok'ra made you forget about briefings... and BDUs?"

Daniel asked, looking inquisitively at his friend, "Tok'ra?"

O'Neill rolled his eyes and remarked, "Well, I'll be dmned - y'all have lost your memories this time. General, I think they should be going to see Fraiser before the debriefing, or briefing in their case."

Carter and Daniel exchanged a surprised look, so Teal'c said, coldly, "JanetFraiser is dead."

As Hammond and O'Neill looked back at them in surprise, the scientists came to the same conclusion, and said in unison, "Alternate Universe!"

Carter's superiors retained their surprised expressions, varied in degrees, as Teal'c asked, "How are we to return home, ColonelCarter?"

Carter replied, as O'Neill exclaimed the word 'Colonel', "There must have been a solar flare or something. By the looks of things, this is only a few years ago but General O'Neill's hair is all wrong."

She approached General Hammond and said, "Sir, request permission to peruse this Universe's Samantha Carter's research notes?"

Hammond looked at them curiously before nodding in assent.

After using a piece of software that that Universe's Carter had developed, our Carter was able to predict a particularly long albeit rare solar flare, rich in helium and argon. She decided that they would dial out to another planet before dialling back to Earth again, and the solar flare would not only allow them to return to their own reality, it would also allow them to travel back in time to a few minutes after they left the SGC. The time travel was essential, due to the rest of Earth not being part of the time dilation field.

Following a debriefing, they bade farewell to their counterparts, and each of them hugged Fraiser, finally getting the chance to say goodbye to her. Siler entered the co-ordinates for the Land of the Light, just as the solar flare occurred, and the team walked through the event horizon, hoping that they weren't going to arrive in the future again.

They dialled back home from the Land of the Light, transmitted their IDC, and the Tau'ri members crossed their fingers as they walked through with Teal'c.

SG-1 arrived at the SGC, in an empty gateroom. They found, much to their relief, Walter waving at them from the control room. He said into the microphone, "Welcome back, Colonel Carter, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c."

The team smiled back up at him; Teal'c bowing his head slightly, and Daniel and Carter replying, "Thanks!"

With Walter's help, they went about putting things right. Carter reconnected the telephone line, and after shooing Daniel off-base, she reconnected the CCTV system, setting it so that it would start up after a time delay.

When things were as they were before, she deactivated the time dilation field, and thanked Walter profusely for his help. She promised that she would negotiate for him to have an extended holiday for his services to the SGC.

O'Neill resumed his paperwork, oblivious of what had gone, before deciding to pay a visit to Carter's lab.

Carter, much to her own surprise, didn't find it difficult to return to work without rest. She smiled to herself, screwdriver in hand, fond memories of the adventures she had experienced that day.

Her thoughts were interrupted by O'Neill's presence. She looked up, cleared her throat, and said, "Hi Sir,"

He looked at her curiously and said, "Carter."

She thought to herself, guiltily, "Oh, this is it - he's figured it out!"

She braced herself for whatever military discipline he was about to dole out, when he just said, "So, what'cha doing?"

She waved towards the device she was working on, and said a sufficiently complex, yet plausible, string of Physics jargon. He raised an eyebrow and remarked, "And I don't suppose there's an English translation for that?!"

She was about to reply, when he said, "Never mind. Anyhoo, I came by to tell ya that Daniel's sick."

She feigned concern and said, "No, really!? He seemed fine yesterday!"

"Yeah, you know him -- even if he had the big 'C', Gd forbid, he'd hide it. I gave SG-2 our afternoon mission, so I was thinking me, you and T could pay a visit to Danny. Besides, you need to rest - despite all that Naquadah in your blood, you're still human."

"Yes, Sir."

"Haven't you been to the University yet? General Peterson wants you for a teaching post."

"Oh... I was late replying to an email."

"You going through with it?"

"No, there's enough to do here, without making a hypocrite of myself by sticking to 'conventional Physics', and not talking about what's really out there."

"'s just as well -- I don't think I could handle Lee in your place."

After he left, she couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably, much to the bemusement of a passing Siler and Lee.

In the Commissary that afternoon, Carter and Teal'c were surprised to see Daniel there. They sat at his table with their various food items, and Carter whispered, "Are you sure you should be here?"

"My, um, cold's a lot better, and I didn't want Jack worrying too much."

Teal'c and Carter nodded conspiringly, and she was about to ask him something when O'Neill shouted from the doorway, making everyone turn their heads towards their table, "Daniel! What did I tell you?! Sheesh, you scientists!"

Carter instinctively held Daniel's hand, as he sheepishly looked up, praying that the Peppermint oil he had applied to his eyes, had taken effect. He said, feigning a cold, "It's only a cold, Jack!"

Carter and Teal'c barely restrained smiles as O'Neill advanced on their table. He glanced around at the other attentive personnel and remarked, "What'cha looking at? Never seen an ill Archaeologist before?!"

They immediately looked away and went back to what they were doing, and he said to Daniel, "You should really look the word 'rest' up in the dictionary! Go home and get some sleep!"

"But Jack..."

"No! Get some sleep!"

"Jack, I'm fine! I'm better than I was this morning!"

"You scientists -- you'd say you were fine if you were on your deathbed! Go home!"

Carter jumped to Daniel's defence, "Actually Sir, it was me that called him... I wanted him to translate the inscriptions on the artefact from 989."

"Now Carter, I always thought you were the caring type, but couldn't that have waited?! The guy's dying..."

Daniel retorted, "I'm not dying!"

"... and you bring him in to do some translating that friggin' Balinsky could've done! Of all the..."

Daniel piped up, "I wanted to come in, Jack! I don't want to stay at home! I have tonnes of work that's piling up as we speak!"

"Work that can wait!"

"Jack..."

"Daniel..."

"Look, ok, I'll go home after the translation! Happy?"

"Ecstatic."

O'Neill turned to look at Teal'c, and said, "I don't trust Carter anymore, so T, if he doesn't go home after the Archaeologist thing, I want you to drag him there."

Teal'c nodded in assent, trying not to smile, as Carter pretended to look shocked.

After O'Neill left, the three friends smiled at each other, relieved that they had had a rip-roaring day off and gotten away with it. Much to the bemusement of the other personnel, they began to laugh.


End file.
